I've never been one to mention my period unless absolutely necessary. I don't really understand why some women feel the need to let everyone know when they have their period. Are they expecting to be congratulated? Worshipped maybe? I don't know.
However, since managing to fall pregnant in late 2006 after being an avid consumer of the Pill for many years, every time my period arrives I feel a little tingle of pride: I've successfully avoided pregnancy for another month! Hurray for me! And when I let the Boy know of my achievement I expect nothing short of full fanfare and a big fuss from him, and am disappointed when he fails to acknowledge it like he did yesterday. Damnit Boy, we're still only parents of ONE thanks to my fabulousness! A simple "'at a girl" is better than nothing :P
The Boy and I have been getting along better. We were going to have a talk about it all over a game of SkipBo (yes, we're dorks) last Wednesday, but when he got here I was busy making a big batch of Babe Food, and he had to fix my computer. By the time I'd finished making a mess of my kitchen he had to go back home. But we've sent a lot of nice emails and texts, and we had a nice cuddle and shag session Saturday night. It's really nice when we get along and can just enjoy each other without having niggly little things spoiling things.
I realise that I'm the problem. I made the effort last week to go out every day for a few hours and it had an amazing effect on my mood. I only went to the shops every day, but just spending those hours pottering around and watching the Babe sitting in her pram observing the goings-on around her made all the difference. If I was back home by a certain time the Babe would either go straight down for a nap or play happily for half an hour before wanting a feed, leaving me time to put away anything I'd bought and sit down and have a cup of tea before I'd have to organise the Babe's food. I noticed I was happier last week and over the weekend, and naturally it's easier for the Boy to be around me when I'm not the miserable sap I normally am. I didn't go out yesterday and am spending today at home as well, and I'm back to being bored and lonely and miserable.
I need to make more of an effort to get out every day, even if I just keep going to the same shops each time. I hate being grumpy and snapping at the Babe when she doesn't eat her food quick enough, and not wanting to play with her because I'm using up too much energy just sitting on the sofa being depressed. The Babe deserves to have a happier mummy, and the Boy deserves a happier girlfriend.
01 April, 2008 @ 1:33pm
